Chasing the elusive 6 hours of sleep...

Well, we've been on a 6 hour neb schedule since the 23rd, but no such luck in getting any REM sleep. Nursing has also been pretty scarce this week with maybe 8-16 hours a week covered the last two weeks. On top of that, I spent the last week and a half on vicodine for an infected root canal that had to be pulled yesterday. I am beyond tired. Last night I went to sleep at 12:20AM after her midnight nebulizers. I got up for false disconnect signals at 12:45 and had to rearrange tubing to make it stop. I was up at 1:45AM to suction Kiera, 3:00AM for a false apnea alarm because she was tossing and squirmed out of the belt, 3:45AM to sucton her again, and 4:15AM to give Kiera Tylenol because she was so restless I thought it might be growing pains. I went ahead and added formula to her feeding pump at this time to save another awakening by the feeding pump at 5. Tylenol seemed to help; although, now that I think about it she may have been unable to sleep with worry over who would be kicked off American Idol today. (She's rooting for David Cook). After the Tylenol I slept till the alarm went off at 6:00AM for her nebs and meds. Thankfully, Jerry got up and did 6 AM meds and nebs, so I went back to sleep. Of course, Kiera sleeps through most of this most of the time, so I truly enjoy the questions regarding whether she is "sleeping through the night" since she's been sleeping through the night since she was a month old.

Unfortunately, this is not an unusual sleep schedule for me. The last few nights were about the same. If one more mother of a term baby tells me, "It's just like nursing," I'll smack her. (At least one can sleep while nursing and while the baby is sleeping. If a nursing mother lets her baby cry 5 minutes before waking up, the baby is unlikely to die in the interim! And, of course, feedings every 2 hours don't continue till a baby is almost 2 years old. Oh...and let's not forget how much I enjoy the reminder that I didn't get to nurse, despite pumping religiously for 10 months!) Ahh...it felt good to get that out. :)

At least when I have morning nursing, I have them arrive at 6:00AM, and I go to our room to sleep sans alarms. (We sleep in a queen bed in Kiera's room, not nearly as comfortable as the bed in ours btw.) So I did get 5 hours Monday morning after the nurse arrived. That should last me till next Wednesday when my next nurse comes, right? Another PICU nurse has voiced interest in doing some homecare on the side, so hopefully she will come work for me too. My poor nurses are already working full time in PICU and picking up extra shifts for me. There just aren't any available home care nurses qualified to take care of Kiera. If there were, Kiera is qualified to have 100 hours a week of coverage. If I lived in another state, this would probably be possible. The grass is truly greener sometimes.

Thanks for tolerating my rant. Maybe it's the drugs, the tooth pain, severe sleep deprivation, or 21 months of this with at least another year or two to go that's making me "a little cranky." It can't all be sunshine and roses. I'm sure I'll be back to cheery next time. Until then....

Therese